Relationships...are You Firing on all Cylinders?

A lot of times when someone says they are in a relationship, people can automatically assume that it is a girlfriend or boyfriend. However, when you think about it, we are all “in” all types of “relationships”. We are in relationships with people at work, at home, at church, and the ultimate relationship is the relationship you are in with God!!

So where am I going with this? First of all, let’s define relationship— I know y’all are saying…”she is always DEFINING something”. Well, you’re right…lol…but as I warned in the beginning, I am a lover of words because the are so incredibly powerful, so let’s ride this thing out together, shall we?

Merriam-Webster has the following definitions:

Relationship: the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: such as kinship

Kinship is then defined as the quality or state of being kin, and then it goes on to provide synonyms such as liaison, association, LINKAGE.

One of the definitions of Relation the state of being mutually or reciprocally interested

Lastly, Ship, used as a verb, is to put in place for use.

What in the world am I getting at?

I submit to you that being in a RELATIONSHIP is this:

The DELIBERATE act of being mutually INTERESTED, and ACTIVELY available, to provide and reciprocate a QUALITY CONNECTION with those YOU CHOOSE.

That’s a lot, right? But read it a few times:

The DELIBERATE act of being mutually INTERESTED, and ACTIVELY available, to provide and reciprocate a QUALITY CONNECTION with those YOU CHOOSE.

Relationships take ACTIVE INTEREST! It won’t be able to sustain the phases in life if the participants don’t remain interested in being in the relationship.

Relationships must be DELIBERATE & ACTIVE you must cultivate it, water it, stimulate it, communicate or it will not thrive.

The participants must be available, and I am referring to emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally available. If I am not spiritually available for a relationship with God, how can He communicate with me? The same goes for every relationship we have, you must be absolutely available in every aspect. We know that the flow in one cylinder may be slower that others at times and in seasons, and that’s normal. However, a “slow flow” is still an ACTIVE, MOVING, and functional flow.

The goal is to continue flowing and firing on all cylinders!!

Relationships must be RECIPROCAL in quality exchanges. This can be different for each person, and you have to understand what QUALITY is for one person, may not necessarily feel like quality for another.

For example, my relationship with my 16 year-old daughter is different than with my 12 year- old son. Quality time with him is watching a movie together, quality time for her is talking or spending time with just her and I. However, I listen to both of them because what they define as QUALITY changes with the seasons of their life. Listen in your relationship, the QUALITY that’s required will vary, it’s not one size fits all.

Lastly, relationships are developed because of YOUR choices. You CONNECT with different people on different levels. YOU choose the depth of those levels. However, no matter what the depth, YOU must choose to connect in the relationship. Without a CONNECTION, there is no relationship. With deliberate and available interest, the connection has the necessary opportunity to move into deeper depths.

So there you have it, in my opinion, Relationships are:

The DELIBERATE act of being mutually INTERESTED, and ACTIVELY available, to provide and reciprocate a QUALITY CONNECTION with those YOU CHOOSE.

My challenge to you today is to pick three (3) relationships in your life and commit to making them better. Ask yourself these questions:

(1). Am I interested in making this relationship better?

(2). Am I actively available for this relationship?

(3). Am I reciprocal in this relationship, or am I taking more that I give?

(4). Am I deliberate with my interactions in this relationship?

(5). Do I know what a quality connection is in this relationship?

Let’s get to work together, firing on all cylinders!! The world is waiting……